Domestic Violence - A Silent Epidemic During the Pandemic

"Objectification and Violence against Women" is an article from my other blog, Caroline’s Chronicles of Crime, which is still relevant to this day.  In connection to current events, the dangers facing victims of domestic violence are heightened due to the quarantine orders.  After the excerpt from CCC, I give my views on cohabiting intimate partner violence during this precarious time.  There are also helpful tips and links at the end.

Featured in my article is the following video, “Killing US Softly 4: Advertising’s Image of Women,” presented by Jean Kilbourne.  The original link was from Upworthy, which is now littered with ads, but this YouTube link is better for viewing.

  

Watch the video here.

The article begins with…..

In the above link, Jean Kilbourne gives an inspiring presentation about how women are portrayed in the media.  She covers three major points.  1.  Women’s pictures are altered to achieve an unachievable ideal.  2.  Women are objectified, sometimes literally.  3.  The media shatters that object, appreciating only parts of the woman’s body.

1.  Women’s pictures are altered.

Before pictures are printed in magazines, professionals edit out all the natural imperfections, such as wrinkles and double chins.  They create unnatural perfections, such as increased bust size, and distorted waistlines courtesy of the Photoshop diet.  The result is a beautiful caricature, a completely abstract image of the original model.  The women in the magazines resemble some of my dolls, but is Barbie really to blame?  Look at the Victorian and Edwardian eras in terms of fashion.  The hourglass figure predated Barbie.

Read the rest of the article here.

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Regarding Domestic Abusers:
They are the lowest of the low during this trying time.  They darken our nation’s darkest hours.  Anyone who creates hell within the home is on the level of child abusers and sexual predators.  They have no moral backbone.  All their victim wants is peace.  If it is advanced calculus for you to leave someone in peace, then you are plain stupid.  Needing to isolate someone from telling people what you did is a silent admission that you have something to hide.

If you are one of those aggressors, please try the following.
 

1.  Stay in separate rooms.  Then you won’t feel inclined to fight or argue.
2.  Think – what am I trying to achieve in this conflict?  Dominance?  Winning an argument?  Closure?
3.  Think of the consequences.  The more you hurt this person, the more they have to tell others.  Stop while you can.

Regarding Victims and Survivors of Domestic Violence:
You are the real hero in the story.  You are probably braver than you think.  People are on your side!  Your abuser’s circle of friends who side against you – is just a bubble that they live in.  Outside that bubble, people can see objectively.  Even if your situation is a shade of gray, people will not be biased to the darker shades of gray that your abuser represents.

Here are some tips to help empower you during this time:   

1.  Texting is safer than calling.  Text “LOVEIS” to 22522.  Your abuser may overhear you calling a women’s shelter, and conflict could ensue.  In some areas, texting 911 is available. (See the links below.)
            1a.  If calling is okay, here is the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).  If you are hearing impaired, then call 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
 

2.  Find a safe place to call or text.  The bathroom is a good place.  Run the shower water, if necessary.  Keep your phone on silent so your abuser doesn’t hear your typing.
 

3.  If you need to call 911:
            3a.  Throw the phone and let the 911 dispatcher hear the altercation.  You can also gently put the phone down on a chair, table, counter, bed, etc.
            3b.  Order a pizza.  It has been done, and it’s been featured in a Super Bowl commercial.  During this pandemic, ordering takeout is so common your abuser might not notice anything unusual.  When the dispatcher asks, is this an emergency, firmly answer, “Yes!”  If the dispatcher asks, “Is there someone dangerous in the room and you can’t talk?” answer, “Yes!” firmly!

Here are some helpful links:

National Domestic Violence Hotline website:  https://www.thehotline.org/help/

Love is Respect – a project of the National Domestic Violence website:  https://www.loveisrespect.org/

Listing of places that allow 911 texting:  http://transition.fcc.gov/cgb/text-to-911-deployments.pdf

DomesticShelters.org:  https://www.domesticshelters.org/

Article from Domestic Shelters website:  https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/escaping-violence/survivors-can-now-text-for-help

List of Top Rated Women’s Shelters in the United States:  https://www.domesticshelters.org/data-center/state-reports-and-rankings/best-domestic-violence-programs

A Woman’s Place:  https://awomansplace.org/
(They operate within Bucks County, PA, but they have extra resources and phone numbers if you are outside Bucks.)