A Guide to Handling Stalkers - Plus More Stalker Math

 

This is my third and final entry for Stalking Awareness month.  The following link is a detailed guide on how to handle five types of stalkers.  This guide is far more extensive than the one in my previous entry.  There are sections for physical followers, cyberstalkers, and for short and long-distance stalkers.  It's a long entry, so feel free to skip around to different segments.  Also included is a section for Stalker Mathematics, in which you can calculate the person's financial ability to drive a long distance to find you. 

This is my aforementioned guide from my crime blog, Caroline's Chronicles of Crime:  Five Types of Stalkers - How to Handle Them

The following is an addition to the math portion. (No puns intended!)

Here is some more Stalker Mathematics.  These ones are quick and easy.  All you need are two numbers and a calculator.

D = RT
(Distance = Rate x Time)

R = D/T
(Rate = Distance/Time)

T = D/R
(Time = Distance/Rate)

If you know how far away your predator is, good.  The more concerning variables are speed and the time you have left before the person finds you.  The following is an example is for time, and it's not based on anyone real.  It's just a theoretical example.

The creep lives 500 miles away.  The speed limit on the turnpike is 65mph.  How much time do I have before he shows up?

D = RT
500 = 65*T

500/65 = (65*T)/65     Divide both sides by rate, 65mph.
500/65 = (65*T)/65     The 65s cancel out on the right side, reducing it to lowest terms.

500/65 = T

T = 7.692 hours

It's about 7 hours and 41 minutes, given that the perpetrator does not make any rest stops.

Conclusion:  It would take less than half a day for someone living 500 miles away to reach you.  In this scenario, it would be wisest to go to your nearest women's shelter and request an emergency PFA (Protection from Abuse order).  Even if you are male, you still can ask for a PFA form.  If you don't know where your nearest women's shelter is, then call your local police station, and they can give you information on restraining orders and they will also be alerted in case the perpetrator shows up.

Ghosts and Boomerangs: My Guide on Dealing with Emotionally Unavailable Types

 

This is my second entry for Stalking Awareness month, and this topic involves emotionally unavailable people who make you feel like a stalker.  It also shows how to prevent yourself from crossing the line into the stalker category.  I wrote an entry in my crime blog about Ghosts and Boomerangs as a guide to deal with these types of people.  See the link below.

Most people are familiar with ghosting.  Once someone stops talking to you, you may attempt contact to figure out what happened to cause the ghosting.  Maybe there was a misunderstanding that could be clarified?  You may wonder, did I say something rude, or did I do something to hurt this person?  Since the person does not want to talk to you, they will not be willing to give you the answer.  The more you try to communicate, the worse it will be for both of you, and you'll look like a stalker despite your benign intentions.  The best course of action is to examine your own behaviors, and stick with a guess as to why they ghosted.  Stick with that guess, and your curiosity will be satisfied.

Boomerangs are people who go back and forth from being your friend to acting like a stranger who's never heard of you.  This person is nice to you for a day or two and then gives you the cold shoulder, but later returns to being your pal for a day.  The obnoxious cycle continues.  During the Boomerang's flight away from you, it seems like you need a VIP pass just to say hello.  You are just a convenience to them.  Boomerangs use people for temporary entertainment, like renting a DVD from Blockbuster.  However, Blockbuster is bust, and human beings are not for rent!

In recent years, I encountered a Boomerang in the workplace.  I had lunch with a lady a few times, and I thought I made a new friend.  Then the next time I had lunch with her, she completely ignored me.  I attempted to strike up a conversation, and she just stared at her phone.  I repeatedly tried to talk with her, and she acted like I wasn't there.  I understand people get glued to their cellphones these days, but you could still look up and interact and go back to Facebook.  She completely blocked me out, and I awkwardly ate my lunch.  Once someone acts like this, I want nothing to do with them.  I figured out when she went to lunch, and took a different time every day.  A few weeks later, I miscalculated her lunch time, and she sat at my table, expecting me to be a buddy all over again.  At this point, I realized she's a Boomerang, not a Ghost.  I just stared at my phone and devoured my veggie burger.  I left for my usual walk, then back to work.  She later complained to other coworkers that I wouldn't talk to her.  I ignored her sad, puppy eyes looking at me.  Ugh, how manipulative.  We're not in middle school; that doesn't work anymore!  I just kept subtly avoiding her in the break room, and now I don't even have to deal with her anymore.  This scenario ended with no drama and no stalking accusations - my intended outcome.

Here is my guide for how to deal with these frustrating people:  Ghosts and Boomerangs - Caroline's Chronicles of Crime

My Statement Regarding the Domestic Terrorism at the Capitol

 

What happened yesterday was a mass admission of hypocrisy. Four years ago, conservatives complained about liberals rejecting the election results, claiming they would never react that way had their candidate lost. Well here we are. I wonder when they are going to yell, “Not my president!” Yet they were chanting, “USA,” despite attacking the building running the country they claim to love. The Declaration of Independence is in the Capitol building. I hope they didn’t touch it or the Constitution. That would be another act of hypocrisy, while they wave their American flags.

How did we get to this point? How did our country come to this shallow, low level? How did we end up with a bigoted bully in office? My answer is that our culture has idolized bullies for decades, whether it’s from television or the schoolyard. People want to feel like they aren’t inferior by feeling superior to someone getting humiliated, like on Jerry Springer or American Idol. On the playground, who was the most popular? The mean kids! Since they had more gadgets, toys, parties, friends, or were just pretty, they were free to get away with being mean because no one wanted to lose their favor. Was morality popular? No! Only religious freaks talk about treating one another with respect (even if they’re atheists, right?!) The kids who were nerdy, disabled, ugly, fat, frail, religious, poor, too rich, or too smart got picked on.

Everyone grows up to finally figure out that morality is better than drama and education is not poisonous. The kids who used to ewww at kissing are now bragging about shagging. They go to church or temple, because now that’s not weird anymore-it’s socially acceptable now. However, as adults, they don’t outgrow everything. Some things are okay to hold onto, like cartoons, old toys, board games - fun stuff that doesn’t harm anyone.

Though there are people who decisively did not outgrow their cruel side. They are still bullying people online, hating people for petty differences-or blatantly prejudicial reasons. They idolize Trump like a grownup version of Bobby Budnick from Salute Your Shorts, except even Danny Cooksey probably doesn’t act like Budnick in real life. Why do I give that example? It’s immature, and the show promoted bullying-a dumb childhood show I grew out of liking.

The liberal crowd seemed to forget their premature years of bullying and prejudice. All those years laughing at the unpopular kid who had a hearing disorder were forgotten, and then they miss the connection as to why the world is laughing at us. It’s karma, your turn to be laughed at. For the past four years, everyone was vulnerable to prejudice, not just the minority in the classroom or the whole population. Our culture was punished. The sad part is that even the innocent people who never did anything wrong were punished too.

What happened at the Capitol building was the regressive Right’s demand to conserve the past, hence they’re called conservatives. They want to hold onto all those immature behaviors of hatred, whether or not you remember partaking. If you do remember your misdeeds and learned from them, more power to you. If you were innocent, stay innocent. If you’re still hateful, examine your hate. If you still support Trump, examine what you are supporting.

Stalking Defined

January is Stalking Awareness Month, and although this is my fun, potpourri blog, I still believe this issue is significant to be included.  In my crime blog, I wrote three entries regarding this topic.  I'll be posting an article each week from Caroline's Chronicles of Crime, just to raise awareness.

The first entry is on defining stalking.  The term, stalker, get used too casually too frequently.  It's ignorant that people joke about some innocent person being a criminal, which could lead to people downplaying the real crime.

The following is a short piece from Caroline's Chronicles of Crime, regarding how stalking is defined.  Feel free to click the link:  Defining Stalking